Rick Land & Russ Tapp: Blog

I want to rattle off a few thoughts on this subject and will come back to the subject again in this series.  During the years when I was an organist in evangelical churches we had moments of transcendence that at the time seemed more emotional rather than esoteric. Those moments occurred particularly at FBC Dallas during those early years of the conservative/liberal biblical wars when one of our most beloved soloists and I would perform a simple gospel song and I would have the freedom to create the accompaniment almost at the moment of performance.  Linda Almond had an elegant rich alto voice and she loved those great gospel songs like "No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus" then there was Janice Mossima the only black member of the choir at that time who loved those great black gospel songs by James Dorsey.

Once in a great while we could offer a simple solo without the full orchestra - I cherished those moments. After I left FBC, I invited Janice Mossima to sing for a joint revival between us at Wilshire Baptist and University Park UMC.  It was a marvelous week, we all brought our favorite anthems and solos and our individual pastors alternated each evening.  I wanted someone totally unique to bring us a message that was transcendent and moving and totally unexpected.  I invited Janice to sing two solos on the Wednesday Evening service. I do not recall the selections, but I will never forget the response from the people. We were true soul mates and I accompanied her with a freedom of spirit that I have rarely experienced since that time. Both congregations fell in love with her. The afternoon she come over to rehearse with me for the services I was just driving up and watched as she got out of her old beat up heap of a car.  She seemed to have the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. I walked toward her and we embraced and she burst into tears and said "Oh Rick I am so weary, I am just so weary".  I just hugged her as tightly as possible and we walked with our arms around each other into the church and began to practice.  Janice was one of those individuals who came to FBC Dallas out of a sense of real need.  She honestly believed she could "pray out the demons and heresies, discrimination, hatred and spiritual blindness".  But her beautiful gifts of prayer and discernment were no match for that level of legalism.

A few weeks later I had just returned from visiting family for the Thanksgiving Holidays and there was a phone message telling me that Janice was killed instantly on Thanksgiving Day when her old beat-up car plowed head-on into a telephone pole. I had to go back to FBC for her memorial service and certainly welcomed the opportunity.  Even now almost 15 years later I remember every detail of that service. She was an "unofficial" member of a black congregation in her small town just outside Dallas and that entire congregation was seated in the first group of pews to the left.  This was the first time I ever saw that many black people present in that all white and extremely bigoted downtown congregation. I knew that I had to accompany another soprano as she sang His Eye Is On The Sparrow.  What I did not know until I looked at the service bulletin that my name had been listed by the family to either sing or play or say something.  I went into severe "prayer" mode.  I knew that the single most significant moment of my entire life was before me.  W.A. Criswell was seated in his usual chair on the platform and he had deep affection for Janice Mossima. He would have welcomed anyone to that great congregation but unfortunately in those days - the congregation was in no way open to the idea of welcoming other races and nationalities inside those historically "white"walls. Nevertheless, Janice became a catalist and spiritual lightning rod.  Most folks down there were absolutely terrified of her. She possessed a spiritual aura that was unarguably profound.  Fred McNab, choir director at FBC, would often call upon her to pray during Sanctuary Choir rehearsal and let me tell you heaven came down and she would all but pray God's wrath upon the heresies and irrelevance of that huge dynasty of fundamentalism, bigotry and hatred.

I prayed like I never prayed in my life for direction as to what to do, should I play something,  say something, sing?  What, I did not know.  The moment came and I simply got up off the bench of that enormous organ console and marched to the pulpit not having a clue what I was going to do. I nodded at Dr. Criswell and looked down at all those beautiful black folks sitting together to my left and glanced at the the rest of that all white group of people.  The first words out of my mouth were these.

"Janice was my soul mate. I accompanied her many times and it was rare that we did not cry and weep while we rehearsed and something took hold of us.  She could sing absolutely anything and had a direct line to heaven". Those black folks were saying amen and nodding their heads which just spurred me on.

I told them how I had seen her a few weeks before and she had said with such deep, deep sorrow, "I am so weary, just so weary." She is no longer weary today from fighting spiritual battles in this place and praying that we would all know the Lord as she knew Him and served so faithfully."

Do you ever have moments in your life when you know that it is that moment you have been preparing for all your life. Well here was mine.I continued...

"She prayed that this congregation would be delivered from our arrogance, blasphemy and sins of presumption. She is not in that box, she is walking around us here, watching us, listening to our thoughts, hearing our words of tribute, and she is singing this song...(I began to sing that simple gospel song)..."talk about a child that do love Jesus, here's one here's one - ever since I heard the gospel story I've been walking up the road to Glory - talk about a child that do love Jesus, here's one - here's one". Then I quietly turned to go to the piano to accompany the soloist as she sang "His Eye Is On the Sparrow."

That does not seem especially significant as I look back but at the time is was perhaps one of the most spontaneous, honest, sincere and authentic moments of my life.  It was a profound moment of transcendence for me.  I knew that I had one chance to say something profound that day and that I could not afford to blow it, hold back or deny the sheer magnitude of this event.

I have experienced many, many forms of transcendence but that day was and will ever be a pinnacle in my life.  My words may not have found their way into the soul of anyone present but I knew that Janice was right there.  She knew that I would be listening for her spirit and speaking words that carried her thoughts and timeless prayers for a people who were lost in their own ignorance and unending spiritual blindness.